What the hell have I........

So happy b day to me (eh it's JUST another day in my mind) still, for some people, a birthday is a "good thing" I recall when birthday's where actually nice. Oh, I'd have a cake, and we'd have ice cream, and presents. It was fun, it's just lost it's luster now. That's not a bad thing, but perhaps something that I need to try to work on.

Honestly, the main reason why I am doing this post on my birthday, is that I have come to a point in my life, that I'm not sure WHAT to do. As funny as it MIGHT sound, things have spun out of control, to the point that what might happen actually scares the hell out of me, where as IF I was just dreaming about it, several months ago, I'd be LIKE "HELL yes I want that to happen!" What is that which I speak of? Well keep reading dear person (if anyone actually reads this)..

I am married, to a wonderful woman, honestly, she has her day's, she's younger then I am, and a month ago (or so) she went out drinking with her friends, and called me asking if I could pick her up. When I finally arrived I could tell that she had been drinking. Which is NOT a bad thing, we all like to cut loose sometimes, but things went crazy when she started pushing herself on me to have sex. Now honestly, I love sex, I love my wife, it's a great match. I just at times am NOT in the mood, am I old? am I a prude? Who knows the end result is I said no and this in turn sent her into a crying yelling rant (it DOES happen to some people when they drink too much) that ended with her asking me(and I quote) "Bre**, are you GAY?" To which I did NOT honestly have an answer.

That is where it SHOULD have ended, however two day's LATER, while at work, I get a text from my wife saying that she "Has figured out how to make our sex life work" This in a sense had me worried (which was a good thing) after doing the text thing for SOME time, she finally stated that her "solution" was to get one of her friends from California to F*c* her. REALLY...no REALLY it's come to that? I'm not sure if I should be PISSED or happy? In the sense that what she is basically asking is to "cuck" me, for some reason, it pisses me off. Now I understand, I really do, that she has needs, and that these needs are something that is wearing on her. However, the thought of her being with another man WHILE I'm in the house...in the same city or EVEN in the same State just really pisses me off.

There I am.......trying to figure out WHAT to do, it's my birthday YAY! me! I have a situation that I cannot win, I've got another year older, and I'm still totally confused about my gender. Well, I guess things could be worse, right? I could be without a job (crosses fingers)....

With Love,

Me