21 Guns

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q1RKr4pWOqs&feature=player_embedded

SO.......another day of trying to find a job, and another day of no luck. Oh well, such is life? right? Still I feel pretty crappy that my wife has to take up the slack.... Still I'm trying I swear...

In other news, I have to admit, the above song really hits me hard. I am not sure, perhaps it's just me and the lyrics. I have always been that person who trying to read lyrics and try to see what the person is really trying to say. In this case I'm not quite sure WHAT is being said, but I do know that I keep listening to it....

Also, I shall leave you with a video that makes me smile (hey one that makes you cry one that makes you laugh, both emotions ARE related trust me!)

http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100000464463712


With Love,

Me

A funny thing happened to me on the way to see a movie.....

Alright, it's just another tuesday(Or so I'm told) although today I was hit by a jolt of reality. My wife's friend's husband passed away from cancer, this actually from becoming HIV Positive. It's hit me pretty hard, knowing that much like trying to play a card game with one's life. You never know when your life will end. It's a touch thing to figure out, do you follow your desires or do you realize that doing that MIGHT end your life sooner.....

To that end, I'm still trying to figure that one out myself....and I keep going back to that damn Nine Inch nails song, In this Twilight. That "you will find a better place, in this twilight". I think I need to think on this whole thing, and what it really means to wonder what one's gender really is. However, here, watch this video, all two of you:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4dcOiKASXyk

Give it a try, and if you can just listen to the words......

With Love,

cloe

I Want to Believe....

Just like Fox Mulder, I have been looking all my life for the Truth, in the TV shows (and the movies) I think in the end HE found the truth. I can only hope that in time, perhaps *I* will find the truth. WE are all looking for something. For me, I am trying to figure out in the end if I am a man or a woman.

Yes, Yes I know my "genes" show as man, but the bigger question is do we become who we are by nature or nurture? Are we "born" male and stay that way? or are we born a gender, and we can LEARN to be the gender we want/desire? I know I'm trying to pose some weird crazy questions, and I don't expect the two(or three?) of you that actually read this to know, perhaps just perhaps you might have an opinion. I would love to hear what you have to say...

In other news, I have decided that I have become addicted to Steam. The ability to get games at the flick of a button (or two) has made it so that I have several games that I always wanted to try, but never had the A. Time, B. money, and C. ability to actually get. To that end, I have to say, I LOVE "Jade Empire", and have had such an amazing adventure in Call of Duty: Black ops. The graphics on Black ops is really amazing. I guess that getting those two GTS250's in SLI WAS a good idea! I've even gone so overboard, that I havc even bought Modern warfare 2. Oh well, I'm crazy I guess..

I had a job interview the other day, and got the reply: "We'll call you in the future IF you get the job" Usually, when I hear those words, it's a coin flip. So, I'm NOT holding my breath! Also here next week, I have a "Meet and greet" with a possible company that MIGHT want to hire me. Woah, free dinner? sign me up!

Anyway, I'm going to go back to "Black Ops" and check on my laundry that is in the dryer....I hope every one has a great labor day. :)

With Love,

Cloe

I'mma do the things That I wanna do I ain't got a thing To prove to you

HA!!!

See I told you I'd post again :) Yes, yes I KNOW it's not as soon as I would have hoped, however in my defense, I have been somewhat busy. With it being the end of the summer, I've been trying to do as much as I possibly can.

Anyway, as I sit here, I have had one job interview (phone to start) and I have a dinner to go to with another possible employer. It should be fun (yea I'm trying to think happy thoughts). In other news, I am still have "issues" with gender. I keep wondering if perhaps there is a way to end this one way other other. I know that in the end I am the combo of both. However if I could end this I would be much happier in the end.

So I am going to post tomorrow (OR today for some of you) and I'll up date you on what things I have done. I actually started Fallout: New Vegas and at first I was NOT amused, having played Fallout 3 I had expected something very similar and to a point, it is. I'm just not a fan of the healing. Still once you get into the story, I find myself going back and just exploring the waste land. It is a nice distraction from other "issues" and other "problems".

SO today I leave you with another video (yes it's NOT porn, just another great song) That I find actually makes sense. I usually read deep into lyrics of a song and try to find meaning. Who knows if I'm right or wrong, but it's a lot of fun to see what the band/person is trying to express.

With Love,

cloe

http://youtu.be/PQHPYelqr0E